Letting Go
by Michele0612
Summary: One-shot What if during New Moon the Cullens never came back and two years have gone by without any contact. What happened during that time? Was Bella able to rebuild her life without them? I think it's better than it sounds. Alice/Bella


_A/N A short story just to get back to writing. It's not great, but I don't think it's bad either. Anyway let me know what you think!_

"Bella!" Jacob yelled sounding anxious.

"What?" Bella asked with a hint of panic in her voice as she blurred over to where Jacob sat in the kitchen.

"There are vampires in town," Josh who was sitting next to Jake interrupted.

"Where and how many?" Bella asked her voice and demeanor calm.

"He doesn't know," Jake growled.

"He just smelled them and then ran here to tell us," Jared snorted.

"Shut up Jared," Bella ordered. "Josh did the right thing. He's not ready to take on a vampire on his own."

"It was more than one," Josh said quietly embarrassed by Jared's mocking tone.

"Then you were even smarter," Bella told him softly squeezing his shoulder and grinning when he send her a small smile.

"I'll go check it out," Jared announced pushing his chest forward in an attempt to look even bigger than he already was.

"No you're not," Jacob growled.

"But…"

"No buts. I'm the Alpha and I say you're not going!"

"You'd be going there looking for a fight Jarred and you'd put yourself and the rest of the pack in danger," Sam said softly shutting Jarred up. He might not be the Alpha anymore having stopped shifting after his marriage to Emily but he was still a member of the council and highly regarded by the pack.

"Remember last time," Quil pointed out rolling his eyes remembering Jared had gone after a vampire and almost gotten himself killed in the process.

"She surprised me is all," Jared mumbled.

"You almost got yourself killed," Jacob growled angrily. "Bella and I will go and check it out."

"Won't you guys need some back up?" Seth asked worriedly.

"I think we'll manage," Jacob replied looking at Bella with a grin.

"I'll manage you mean," Bella said faking an air of arrogance making the rest of the pack chuckle.

"Yes, you stinking bloodsucker you'll manage," Jake said grinning. "I'll just be your arm candy," he added cheekily making Bella laugh.

"Enough with the jokes," Bella said still smiling and her golden eyes twinkling. "We have vampires to track," she added turning serious. Jake nodded and followed her outside.

"She's not there, Alice," Edward grumbled scowling at his sister. "I already went and checked last night."

"And I want to go check again," Alice argued. "And I want to go and talk to Charlie," she added.

"And what will you say to him? 'Hi Charlie! Want to tell me where your daughter we abandoned is?' And how will you explain that you haven't aged?" Edward asked arrogantly.

"I'll put on some make up that'll make me look older. We've been gone for two years Edward. It's not that hard to make myself look two years older. And you're the one that made us leave! You made us abandon her!" Alice yelled with tears in her eyes.

"It was a family decision," Edward pointed out.

"It was stupid," Emmett interjected pulling Alice into a hug.

"It was for her own safety," Edward argued.

"It was for your convenience. You knew you were going to lose her and you left first. You made us all leave just so you wouldn't get dumped," Alice said coldly her now black eyes shooting daggers at her brother.

"Just because you had a vision doesn't mean it was going to happen, Alice!" Edward replied his eyes darkening too.

"Oh please!" Rosalie scoffed. "Even now your fragile ego can't handle the idea. It's obvious Alice is right, Edward."

"Mind your own business," Edward hissed and Emmett growled back standing in front of his wife and sister protectively.

"Enough," Carlisle said calmly as he blurred into the living room. "Calm yourselves! We all left. Whether or not it was for the right or the wrong reasons we all left. Blaming one another is not going to help. We all left and now we're all back. We can only hope that Bella can forgive us for leaving."

"Honestly Carlisle! Would you? We left for two years without saying goodbye! If I were her I wouldn't even give us the time of day let alone forgive us," Rosalie replied coldly.

"She'll understand we left because we had her best interests at heart," a hopeful Esme said softly.

"Well some of us did," Emmett mumbled still glaring at Edward.

"It doesn't really mater because she's not there. I went to her house last night and she wasn't home and it looked like she hasn't been there for a while."

"She probably went to college," Carlisle murmured.

"Probably isn't good enough. I want to know what happened to her which is why I want to go and talk to Charlie."

"That's not a good idea, Alice. If she's gone to college then that means she's moved on with her life just like I wanted her to. We need to leave her alone and let her have a normal life!" Edward argued.

"We already did that and it wasn't working," Rosalie said.

"For us. It wasn't working for our family. If she's not here it's obviously working for her!" Edward yelled frustrated with his family. He didn't even want to be back here. They should have just left this place behind them and moved on.

"I want to know for sure and I will not leave here till I do!" Alice growled.

"We all want to know, Alice," Carlisle soothed knowing that it was true. Knowing that leaving Bella behind had almost torn his family apart. "But Edward is right. If Bella has moved on we shouldn't force ourselves back into her life."

"But Carlisle," Emmett started.

"No Emmett. We'll stay here and try and find out what happened without contacting Bella or Charlie. It shouldn't be that hard. After all we are vampires," he said with a small grin but Alice wasn't in the mood to grin back.

"Fine," she grumbled. "But if I have to talk to Charlie to find out what happened to her then I will not hesitate."

"Only if you have to," Carlisle agreed and Alice nodded and blurred over to her room.

"The scent is leading us to the Cullen house," Bella murmured to Jacob who was running next to her in his wolf form. Jacob growled in agreement and began running faster.

Bella easily caught up to him with a grim expression on her face. She hoped that the situation wasn't what it seemed. She hoped the Cullens hadn't returned to Forks, because if they had she didn't know what she would do. She didn't know how she would react.

They skidded to a stop in front of the big mansion and waited. They both smelled and heard the vampires inside and Bella instinctively knew that it was them. Even though she had never met them as a vampire and thus had no real idea of what they smelled like she knew. They had returned. She could feel it. Her eyes darkened and she released a low rumbling growl.

It took less than a second for the entire Cullen family to come running out of the house having heard their visitors approach the house.

"Bella," a shocked Alice breathed looking at her friend like she was seeing a ghost.

"You're a vampire," Emmett remarked surprised.

"I am," Bella replied sounding calm but feeling anything but. She kept her black eyes trained on the Cullens and spoke to the wolf beside her: "Jacob go shift. You need to talk to them as Alpha and reinforce the treaty."

The wolf nodded once and sped towards the trees so he could shift in private.

"Bella, why are you a vampire?" Edward asked angry and annoyed having finally recovered from the shock of suddenly seeing his girlfriend as a vampire.

"Because I've been bitten by one, Edward. Obviously," Bella replied rolling her eyes and struggling to stay calm. She wanted so badly to kick his ass, but she knew she couldn't justify it. He made her furious, but she was determined to stay in control.

"I'm done," Jacob said coming to stand next to Bella wearing nothing but his shorts.

"Took you long enough," Bella teased giving him the once over. "Forgot your shirt again?"

"Bite me," Jacob growled not taking his eyes off of the Cullens hating them for hurting his friend.

"Tried that already. You don't taste good," Bella teased knowing it really wasn't the time to be teasing him, but realizing that if she didn't concentrate on something other than the family that abandoned her she would lose her self restraint and do something stupid.

"So you're back?" Jacob asked annoyed looking at Carlisle who was staring at Bella like the rest of his family.

"Yes, we're back," Carlisle replied slowly shifting his gaze from Bella to Jacob.

"You know that starting today the treaty will once again be in effect?" Jacob asked already knowing the answer but still having to ask the question.

"Of course," Carlisle replied.

"Is Bella part of the treaty too?" Rosalie asked curiously which caused Jacob to growl.

"Bella is no Cullen! So no Bella isn't part of the treaty."

"Bella is a part of our family," Esme stated looking at Bella with love.

"You leave all your family members behind to fend for themselves?" Jacob asked growling and shaking making all of the Cullens except for Edward flinch.

"We left to protect her!" Edward growled back annoyed that the stupid dog was meddling in their business. Then he turned to Bella and softened his voice: "Bella, please come inside. I'm sure you can explain yourself."

Jacob growled at that and Bella laughed.

"Explain myself?" Bella asked surprised. "I won't explain myself, Edward. I don't owe you anything. You left. You all left!" She yelled looking at the vampires she had thought of as family. Jacob put a hand on her shoulder to support her and she calmed down somewhat.

"Now that we know it's just you and we've agreed to keep the treaty in place we'll be going home," Jacob said looking at Bella for confirmation and getting it when Bella nodded.

"Bella! Wait please!" Alice called out having finally gotten over her shock. "Please," she whispered hoping Bella would stop and turn around to face her.

"What?" Bella asked turning around but not looking Alice in the eye. She knew she couldn't. Not without losing her restraint and breaking down. Alice had been her best friend. The person she had relied on most two years ago and she had left her without a word. Without saying goodbye. In a way that made her worse than Edward who had at least told her he was leaving.

"I want to talk to you. I want to apologize for leaving and I want to know what happened to you. Who turned you?" Alice asked softly as if afraid that Bella would run if she spoke to loudly. "Please Bella," Alice pleaded when Bella just stood there not looking at her and not answering her.

"I can't," Bella whispered and then seemingly pulling herself together she straightened and repeated the words in a steadier tone.

"Please," Alice begged.

"No! You're not my friend anymore Alice. You can't just expect me to be your friend when you return after two years with absolutely no contact. I don't owe you an explanation and frankly you don't deserve one either. None of you do! You were supposed to be my friend. My best friend! But you left without saying goodbye! I didn't even matter enough to you to get a goodbye! So no, I cant and I won't talk to you or your family! We got what we came here for. We're going home," Bella said and turned around and started running.

Jacob stood there for a second looking at all of them in disgust before turning and following Bella back to La Push.

"She's a vampire," Emmett said softly still not believing what he had just seen.

"She hates us," Alice whispered brokenly.

"I can't say I blame her," Rosalie said softly not wanting to hurt Alice. "We left to protect her and now she's a vampire. I'd say the protection part of our leaving wasn't quite successful."

Edward growled and hissed out: "We did what was right!"

"We failed her, Edward! We abandoned her and weren't there for her. Not to support her and not to protect her!" Alice yelled.

"We need to find out what happened after we left," Esme said looking at her husband pleadingly. She couldn't believe that Bella, the girl who she thought of as a daughter, had been changed into a vampire without them there to support her while she changed. "We need to try and regain her trust."

"We need to leave! Coming back was a mistake which I told you! It's obvious she doesn't want us here," Edward claimed looking at Carlisle waiting for his father to agree with him.

"I am not leaving her again!" Alice claimed adamant. They were going to have to tear her apart before she made the mistake of abandoning Bella again.

"We are not leaving her again," Carlisle said gently.

"Carlisle…" Edward started.

"No Edward! We left when you wanted to. You convinced us that it was the right thing to do. The right thing for her. But it's obvious now it wasn't. We left and our family suffered for it, but I let it happen because you convinced me we would be selfish to return and interfere in her life once again. Now we're back and we find out she's a vampire. That she has gone through a painful and traumatic experience alone when we could have been there to support her. To guide her," Carlisle said his face full of regret.

"We could have prevented it even," Rosalie said softly knowing the loss of humanity came with a price.

"Maybe," Carlisle agreed. "The point is we should have been here and we weren't. And now we're not going to make the same mistake. We're going to stay and be here for her even if she doesn't want us here."

"She doesn't," Edward said. "She doesn't want us here and I think we should respect her wishes and leave."

"Respect her wishes?" Alice repeated her voice full of disbelief and indignation. "This isn't about what she wants and wishes. It never has been! It's all about what you want and wish. It always has been!"

"She's right, Edward. Bella didn't want us to leave. She wanted us to stay," Emmett said sighing hating the situation they were in.

"She may not have wanted us to leave then, but she does now. So staying here against her wishes is the same as leaving against her wishes," Edward told them and blurred upstairs to his room.

"He's sort of right about that," Emmett said quietly.

"I don't care! I'm not leaving! Bella's angry with us right now and she has every right to be, but I'm not leaving until she stops being angry and tells me to leave because she really wants me to see me go."

"Very well Alli," Rosalie sighed pulling her sister in a hug. "But you know she might stay angry with us forever. She might never forgive us for leaving."

"I know," Alice mumbled feeling defeated. "But I have to try. I can't just leave her again."

"And why can't you?" Rosalie asked in a whisper hoping her sister would finally admit the truth. The truth that had been obvious to Rosalie for a little over two years.

"I just can't," Alice whispered back unwilling to really answer the question. "Please Rose just leave it at that," Alice added when it looked like Rosalie would ask more questions.

Sighing Rosalie nodded and let it go.

"How are you going to get her to talk to you?" Emmett asked.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked.

"I mean she came here with Jacob Black and went 'home' with him. I'm guessing they meant La Push and we can't follow them there. Not without breaking the treaty," Emmett pointed out.

"You think she lives in La Push now?" Alice asked slightly panicked.

"It's possible," Carlisle agreed. "She's a vampire now. The possibility of her still living with her father is very slim and it would explain why Alice hasn't had any visions of her."

"How are we going to talk to her then?" Rosalie asked.

"We could try and call her," Esme suggested.

"If she still has the same number," Rosalie pointed out. "And even if she doesn't. A call is easily ignored."

"I could contact the pack's council and set up a meeting," Carlisle offered.

"That could work," Emmett agreed. "But that's not exactly creating the right atmosphere for a personal conversation."

"I'm going to the border and I'm not leaving there until Bella talks to me," a determined Alice said.

"Alice…" Carlisle sighed.

"That's dangerous! They could view it as a provocation and attack," Esme pointed out worried for the small vampire's safety.

"I'll go with you," Emmett offered.

"No! I'm going alone. And I know it's dangerous, but it's the only way that I can get her to talk to me. I really need to talk to her and I can't wait till the council sets up a meeting or until Bella leaves La Push. I need to talk to her now!"

"Let her go," Rosalie said knowing why Alice had such a need to go and talk to Bella.

"It's not a good idea," Edward interfered from upstairs. "And if anyone should go it's me!"

"Shut up, Edward. You wanted to leave. You didn't even want to talk to Bella so don't start saying you want to now," Rosalie spat.

"I…" Edward began.

"No!" Alice yelled furiously. "I am going and I am going alone. None of you are going to change my mind and if you even try and stop me I will fight you!"

"We won't fight you, Alice," Carlisle said sighing and shaking his head.

"And we won't stop you either," Esme added. "But please be careful," she pleaded.

"I will," Alice said and ran out the door determined not to return until she had a decent conversation with Bella.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked quietly as he watched Bella stand on the edge of the cliff looking out at the ocean.

"I'm… I'm not sure," Bella sighed. "I'm angry. Angry that they're back. Angry that they left in the first place. Angry that they seem to want to be let back into my life. Angry that they didn't try harder to get back into my life. I'm just confused. Really confused."

"Are you… Do you still love Edward?" Jacob asked carefully knowing Edward had always been a very touchy subject between them.

Bella laughed and replied: "I most definitely do not love him anymore. In fact I don't even like him anymore. I'm angry at them all for leaving and I know that he's the main reason they left. He decided what was going to happen and they all went along with it without even asking me what it was that I wanted. That's not love. It's selfish, controlling and hurtful and I hate him for it."

Jacob nodded happy to hear that answer. He wanted Bella to be happy and had long ago realized it wouldn't be with him, but he wasn't sure that he would be able to accept her happiness if it was Edward she wanted.

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Now I'm going to stand here until the sun goes down, then I'll go hunt and patrol. After that it's anybody's guess," Bella replied with a small smile.

"That's not what I meant," Jacob chided.

"I know, but it the only answer you're getting."

Jacob nodded feeling only slightly disappointed.

"Do you want some company?"

"Sure. Just don't drool on me," Bella answered her golden eyes twinkling with amusement.

"That was one time!" Jacob whined making Bella laugh.

"I love you Jake," Bella whispered knowing that whatever else happened she would always have Jacob to rely on. He had promised her he would never leave her and he never had.

"Love ya too Bells," Jacob replied putting an arm around her shoulders and standing there with her waiting for the sun to set.

Hours later Bella was running along the border following a scent. A vampire's scent. Alice's scent. Bella growled in annoyance. The Cullens had only just returned and already they were causing trouble. Alice being at the border could be viewed as a provocation and Bella knew that had it been Jared patrolling tonight there would have been a fight that may or may not have led to a war between the Cullens and the pack.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Bella asked irritated that the small vampire was taking such risks.

"Waiting for you," Alice replied calmly her eyes lighting up when she saw Bella.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed? Do you have any idea what would have happened if it was someone else that was on patrol tonight? You've endangered yourself, your family and the pack. You're risking a war!"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk to you. I need to talk to you. Bella please…"

"I have nothing to say to you, Alice."

"I won't leave unless you talk to me," Alice said crossing her arms and shooting Bella a look of defiance. She would not budge until Bella gave in and talked to her.

"You're endangering everyone by staying here!"

"Talk to me and I'll leave!"

"I…"

"Bella please! I need to explain to you what happened when we left and why we came back. And I really would like to know what happened to you. Just hear me out?" Alice begged.

Bella sighed and tore her eyes away from Alice's knowing she was going to give in. She had never really been able to say no to Alice and apparently that hadn't changed.

"Fine, but not here and not now! I'm on patrol and you're still too close to the border!"

"When and where?" Alice asked eagerly.

"Midnight. The stream near your house."

"I'll be there," Alice replied enthusiastically.

"Now please leave?" Bella asked worried that another wolf had decided to patrol the border too now that they knew the Cullens were back.

"I will. Thank you for agreeing to talk to me. I'll see you later, Bella," Alice answered and sped away happy that Bella had given in to her pleading but knowing she was going to have to give her one hell of an explanation to be allowed in the brunette's life again.

"I hope that wasn't a mistake," Bella whispered to herself before continuing with her patrol.

Exactly at midnight Bella arrived at the stream. She had been reluctant to come and unwilling to be even a second too early.

"I'm so glad you're here," Alice greeted her having been there at least an hour before hand and having had her doubts if Bella would really show up.

"Didn't think I'd come?" Bella asked feeling just a little bit of amusement when Alice's eyes went wide.

"No, no, I…" She spluttered.

"Relax Alice. I was only kidding," Bella said smiling slightly, but the smile faded when she remembered why she was there. "Now, you wanted to talk?"

"Yes! I just wanted to explain what happened after your birthday. Why we left."

"Oh I know why you left," Bella interrupted. "You left because Edward wanted you to leave and you all went along with what Edward wanted even if that meant leaving someone who was supposedly a part of your family."

"We wanted to protect you," Alice interjected softly. "We knew that if we stayed you would have ended up dead. One way or another. And by leaving you there was a chance you would be able to lead a normal life and die peacefully of old age in your sleep instead of by being bitten by a vampire or being killed by one."

"Well you left and I still ended up being bitten by a vampire and almost being killed by one multiple times," Bella replied irritated. "You and your family were a huge part of my life. You let me in on your secret and you made me believe I was part of your family. There was no undoing that. Leaving didn't make me forget and it didn't make Laurent or Victoria forget either," Bella said mumbling the last part, but Alice still heard it clearly.

"Victoria and Laurent?" Alice asked alarmed. "One of them changed you?"

"Yes, but if it's any consolation they actually meant to kill me."

"It's… I don't… How did you get away?"

"The pack. They interrupted Laurent when he bit me and helped me take care of Victoria among other things."

"Among other things?" Alice repeated knowing that if she was human she would be hyperventilating.

"It's a long story," Bella sighed. "And we're getting off track. You were going to tell me what happened after you left."

"We realized we made a mistake," Alice replied simply. "Leaving you was hard and staying gone was excruciating. We all missed you very much. You were a part of our family and moving on without you didn't work at all, but the decision had been made and we knew we couldn't just come back. Not without giving you the chance to move on with your life and a few months weren't enough for you to do that so we stayed gone," Alice explained and then took Bella's hand needing the contact and feeling happy when Bella didn't pull her hand back. "We tried to fill up the hole you had left in our family by spending more time apart. Edward travelled to South America, Emmett and Rosalie went on a second honeymoon and Esme, Carlisle, Jasper and I went to visit the Denali's. It kept us busy, but it didn't keep us from missing you. So eventually after trying to distract ourselves from your absence for two years we decided to come back. We just wanted to see if you had moved on and if you were happy living a normal life. If you did we probably would have left again without interfering in your life again," Alice said swallowing the lump in her throat at that. "And if you didn't we would have tried to rebuild a relationship with you. I know we abandoned you, Bella. And you have every right to be angry at us, but don't think you never meant anything to us. That leaving you was easy. Because it was anything but. It hurt like hell," Alice said trying to hold in her sobs. "Please believe me," she choked out with tears in her eyes.

Bella sighed, squeezed Alice's hand that was still in hers and quietly told Alice: "I believe you."

At that Alice broke down and started sobbing in earnest. Bella was shocked and felt more than a little awkward sitting there holding a sobbing Alice's hand. Hesitantly she pulled Alice's body to her and ended up with her arms full of a crying Alice. Trying to sooth the small vampire she rubbed circles on her back and whispered in her ear: "That's not a bad thing you know."

Alice laughed burying her face in Bella's neck feeling a little embarrassed at her outburst.

"I know. I'm just really grateful you believe me."

"Alice?" Bella asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes?"

"Where's Jasper?" Bella asked tentatively. She had tried to keep herself from asking the question seeing that Alice was already upset but she needed to know.

"He's with the Denali's," Alice answered quietly.

"So he's coming in a few days? Or didn't he want to come?"

"He's not coming unless the Denali's have decided to come for a visit," Alice replied.

"He left the family?" Bella asked disbelievingly.

"He met his mate when we visited the Denali's," Alice admitted softly knowing that this was going to stun Bella.

"He what?" Bella asked completely shocked.

"The Denali's have taken in another vampire. A young girl they came across in the woods. She was dying and Carmen felt a pull towards her so they changed her. Then when we visited them and Jasper met her they just fell in love," Alice said shrugging and smiling slightly.

"But he was your mate, Alice!" Bella exclaimed.

"No, he wasn't. Vampires only have one mate, Bella. Tess is Jasper's mate. I'm Jasper's best friend just like I always have been."

"I don't understand," Bella mumbled feeling incredibly confused.

"Jasper and I were never mates. We tried having a relationship when we first joined the Cullens, but it felt like I was kissing my brother so we went back to being just friends. Best friends."

"But why did you make everyone believe that you were a couple?"

"To keep the humans at a distance. I mean you saw how it was with Edward… He was asked out all the time. I didn't want that and for Jasper it could have been a disaster with his power and his bloodlust so we just pretended to be together. It was easier that way."

"And why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. It just didn't really matter," Alice mumbled hoping Bella would let it go.

"Didn't matter?" Bella repeated in a whisper feeling absolutely stunned.

Silence fell over the both of them. Bella needed time to process the new and surprising information and Alice was hoping Bella wouldn't ask anymore questions about why she wasn't told the truth about Jasper and her to begin with.

"Bella?" Alice asked tentatively after a few moments of silence.

"Yes?"

"Are you living in La Push now?"

"Yes," Bella replied with a slight edge to her tone. No matter what she wouldn't allow Alice to talk bad about La Push or the wolves.

"Why?"

"Where else was I going to go?" Bella asked. "Laurent bit me intending to kill me, but the pack interfered. They killed him and saved me, but it was too late to keep me from turning. They fought about it, but ultimately Jake managed to convince Sam and most of his pack to take me with them to the reservation. They would let the Council decide about what to do with me then. Now you can imagine that the Council wasn't too happy that they had brought a changing vampire onto their land, but ultimately it was decided that they wouldn't kill me right away. They would wait and see what happened when I woke up. The wolves took turns sitting by my side and guarding me. Taking care of me and protecting the people of La Push at the same time," Bella explained thinking back on how lucky she had been. She could have died.

"What happened when you woke up?" Alice asked softly. "Did you attack them?"

"No, I didn't. I know that would have been the logical reaction since the wolves are a vampire's natural enemy, but I didn't feel on edge around them. It probably helped that it was Jake who was with me when I woke up, but I never felt the inclination to attack any of the wolves. Just like they didn't feel the urge to attack me. I woke up confused and a little on edge, but I didn't feel the crazy newborn bloodlust Carlisle had warned me about. So my awakening went kind of smoothly," Bella said shrugging.

"And the Quilletes let you stay?"

"Not only that. They made me a part of their pack and helped me out when Victoria came back with a few new friends to kill me."

"A few new friends?" Alice squeaked horrified.

"Like I said it's a long story," Bella replied shrugging her shoulders. "And it was a long time ago."

"I am so sorry we weren't here to help you through it all, Bella," Alice said her eyes begging Bella to believe her.

"I wished you were," Bella sighed. "I wished you were all here, but at least I wasn't alone. Jake was there for me and the pack helped me out a lot. It's okay, Alice. I survived and rebuild my life."

"I know you had the pack and Jacob and I'm so thankful for that, but I still wished I could have been there for you. But I'm glad you had someone and that you were able to make a new life for yourself," Alice said and then turned hesitant. "Do you think there's place for me in your new life? That we could be friends again?" She asked with trepidation.

"I don't know," Bella sighed unsure if she would be able to just be friends with Alice again and unsure if she would be able to deal with the rest of the Cullens and Edward in particular. "If you had asked me this morning I would have told you no and I would have been absolutely sure, but now I just don't know. After listening to you and believing you when you say leaving me wasn't easy for you I think maybe we could be friends again. But I can't promise you anything. I'm just not sure if I'm going to be able to be your friend," Bella said.

Alice nodded feeling a bit disappointed, but knowing she didn't have the right to expect more from Bella.

"So Jasper met his mate?" Bella asked changing the subject and distracting herself from her thoughts.

"Yes," Alice replied hesitantly unsure if she was going to like the direction the conversation was taking.

"What are you going to do now? I mean are you searching for your mate?" Bella asked more than a little curious.

"Not really," Alice mumbled not particularly liking this new subject.

"Why not?" Bella asked confused. Alice had always struck her as someone that believed in love, but then again she had always believed that Alice had already found love in Jasper so what did she know?

"I don't need to."

"You don't need to? Did you have a vision of your mate or something?" Bella asked.

"I already met my mate, Bella," Alice admitted softly and a little reluctantly.

"You did?" Bella asked shocked. "Who is it?"

"I…" Alice trailed of knowing that it was too soon to tell Bella. Too soon to burden their already very fragile relationship.

"Come on, Alice! Tell me please?" Bella begged needing to know and not understanding why Alice was hesitating to tell her so much. Then she had an absolutely horrifying thought. "It's… It's not Edward is it?" Bella asked hesitantly knowing that if it was it would destroy her.

"God no!" Alice exclaimed sounding nauseous. "Edward and I will never ever feel that way for each other. I mean he's just too… And I'm… Just no," Alice said shaking her head no for emphasis. "But I guess you still have feelings for him huh?" Alice asked realizing that Bella had sounded scared when she had asked her that question.

"No! No, I don't love him anymore. The only feelings I have towards him right now are feelings of anger. It's just… The idea of him and you… It just seems wrong to me," Bella admitted hesitantly with a small shrug.

"Oh," Alice replied wondering what that meant.

"Now stop trying to distract me," Bella complained. "Tell me who your mate is," she asked smiling slightly trying to encourage Alice to answer.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea to tell you, Bella," Alice replied.

"Why not?" Bella whined completely giving into her need to know. "Is it someone you shouldn't have feelings for like Rosalie? Or Emmett? Or Jasper's Tess?"

"What? No!" Alice exclaimed shocked that Bella would even think to mention girls. "And why shouldn't I have feelings for them?" Alice asked afraid that Bella would think it was because they were female.

"Because they already have mates," Bella replied slowly.

"Oh," Alice replied feeling relief and kicking herself for not seeing the obvious.

"Tell me who it is?" Bella asked again. She was starting to feel desperate to know the answer. "Please?"

"Promise me you won't get mad? Promise you'll still be my friend?" Alice asked terrified that her answer would have Bella running away from her.

"I promise," Bella replied simply feeling confused about why she needed to promise that. She took Alice's hand in hers again and said: "You can tell me, Alice."

"It's you," Alice whispered loosening her grip on Bella's hand in case she wanted to run.

"What's me?"

"You're my mate," Alice admitted softly looking down at their still linked hands afraid to look Bella in the eye.

"I'm your mate," Bella repeated looking at Alice afraid that the small vampire was messing with her, but Alice was sitting there looking down at their hands, biting her lip and looking absolutely terrified. Terrified of her reaction Bella realized with a start. "Are you sure?" Bella asked softly squeezing Alice's hand hoping to make her realize that she wasn't going to run.

Alice just nodded and didn't look up.

"How long have you known?" Bella asked in a whisper.

"I only realized it fully after we left. I mean I was always drawn to you and I loved spending time with you, but I knew you were Edward's and I guess that kept me from realizing I felt more for you then just a very close friendship. But then we left and I just missed you so much. I felt so much grief. A lot more than I would have if you had been just a friend and that's when I first realized how I really felt about you. But it was too late. We had already left you and I knew that if you were going to get any chance at a normal life that I would have to try and stay away from you. I didn't want to cause you anymore pain then I already had." Alice explained with tears in her eyes.

"Oh," Bella breathed unsure of how to react.

"How do you feel about all this? How do you feel about me?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"I… I… God this is hard," Bella said sighing. "After you guys left I was heartbroken. I missed my family and I missed the boy I thought was the love of my life, but after a few weeks I started doubting my feelings for Edward. I realized that what I had with Edward was a mixture of a crush, attraction and liking the mystery that always surrounded him. I didn't love him and probably never had. Then I realized I missed you most. More than Edward, more than Esme, more than anyone and at first I thought it was because you were my best friend, but then I realized it was because I had feelings for you. I realized that I was in love with you and it absolutely crushed me," Bella admitted with tears in her eyes feeling miserable reliving those memories. "I loved you and you were gone and knowing that really hurt, Alice."

"I'm so sorry," Alice whispered and Bella nodded. "Do you still love me?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"I do," Bella whispered. "But I'm not sure I can be with you. I don't know if I can trust you the way you're supposed to trust someone you're in a relationship with."

Alice closed her eyes overwhelmed by the pain those words caused her, but knowing she had caused Bella to feel that way.

"Maybe we can take it slow?" Alice suggested looking at Bella hopefully.

Bella looked into Alice's eyes and knew she would never forgive herself if she didn't at least try. She was still afraid of getting hurt and she worried that Alice would leave her again, but she loved her and she wanted to be with her.

"Maybe we can," Bella agreed with a small smile squeezing Alice's hand again. Alice's answering smile was almost blinding and in that moment Bella felt sure that she had made the right decision. She knew it was a risk, but then again love always was.

The End.


End file.
